The Wrath of Charlie Sheen!
by slyDevil13
Summary: In the midst of his triumph over Dooku, Anakin Skywalker and Palpatine's plans for him are derailed by an unknown force...


Anakin Skywalker stands before Count Dooku, who has fallen to his kness after the shock of having both his hands severed and cauterized. With the same dull and malicious face he wore almost constantly, the Jedi Knight (this is a wrong statement and I don't care if cannon says otherwise) holds both light sabers to the throat of his beaten foe.

"Good Anakin, good" Chancellor Palpatine chuckles, "Kill him, kill him now" he instructs the young Skywalker as Dooku looks over at him in shock and horror.

"I shouldn't" Anakin says almost convincingly.

"Do it!" says the chancellor as his voice turns growly.

Anakin looks down at the old man his eyes plead for mercy. Unfortunately for Dooku, this doesn't affect Anakin in the slightest. But before he can execute the man in cold blood a loud boom distracts him. Anakin looks up at the viewing window to see a large star ship. Its design is unlike any of the Federation or Republic ships. Its bow is disproportionately large discus, with two cylindrical engines stemming from the long narrow body. There something written on the ship's side in large red letters, in a language unfamiliar to him.

As Anakin, Dooku, and Palpatine all look toward the strange ship in shock a blue light begins to envelope Anakin. He stares at himself enveloped by this strange light and is very scared. Then with a flash he vanishes and a moment later the ship booms away, seemingly having gone into hyperspace.

Palpatine and Dooku stare off into the space before them. There is a mass orchestra of death and suffering being played by the two battling fleets above Corusant. For some reason neither of them take much notice of it.

"I honestly did not anticipate that" Palpatine says truly baffled.

Count Dooku shifts his gaze toward his severed hands, then toward Palpatine, whose chair is turned away from him. He then looks over at the unconscious Obi-wan Kenobi and his light saber.

"Darth Tyrannus, get me out of these shackles." Palpatine snaps.

"Yes my master" Dooku replies in his usual droll monotone, trying not to betray his feelings. He stands up and walks behind Palpatine's chair, force pulling Kenobi's light saber to him.

"Tell grievous to withdraw the fleet, and that you will be taking as your personal prisoner" Palptine says, descending into his growling voice again.

"Yes Lord Sidious" Dooku says as he aligns the light saber at the back of Palpatine's head and turns it on.

The light saber falls to the ground and so does Dooku. The pain he had been holding back sweeps across his face. It took all his focus to turn on the saber while containing his emotion, especially his hate. Leaning against the chair he fumbles at the control panel with arm trying to hit the com device. He does manage to. As soon as he hears the click he is shouting orders.

"Get someone in hear! The Chancellor is dead and Skywalker is gone! Take Kenobi alive!"

He can't handle anymore; he loses what little grip he had on the chair and falls to the floor. Lying flat on his back Dooku loses his own grip on consciousness.

He feels his body being unmade and then remade. For a moment he was the light that engulfed but now he is becoming whole again. As the strange light vanishes Anakin stands trembling on top of a platform of some kind. He drops the light sabers and tries to gather himself. The room is dark, he can't see anything.

On the floor in front of him a row of lights illuminates, leading down from the platform and around the corner of the dark room. He reaches down to grab his light saber. After turning it on he begins to follow the lights. It's quiet; all he can hear is the humming of his saber. Around the corner the lights lead down a long hallway. Wherever Anakin is it is made of sleek, smooth metal.

After a long, slow walk the lights seemingly lead to a dead end. Long, greasily locks drip with sweat. For whatever bravado he might show, Anakin is terrified. His heart is racing and he couldn't possibly hope to quiet his mind enough to sense his surroundings. Behind he hears a clang and abruptly turns toward the sound, there is nothing that he can see or perceive. Just as lets his guard down he hears a swishing sound at the dead end he turned his back to.

Turning back around Anakin sees faint glimmers of light from around the edge of the wall. More and more light pours in, and the wall opens up revealing that it was in fact a door. Tentatively Anakin steps into the chamber. It is very bright. The door closes and he can hear a new swishing and humming sound. Unsure of what is going Anakin does all he can, wait.

After several long minutes the sound stops and the door opens from the other side. Cautiously he steps out with light saber drawn. He enters another dark room, but not as dark as the hallway. Flashing lights on panels line either side and through a large viewing window he can see stars, none that are familiar to him.

A light shines in front of him silhouetting a chair and voice speaks to him,

"The force is strong with you Skywalker, but you are not a winner yet."

"Who are you? Tell me now!" Anakin whines.

The chair turns around and the entire room is illuminated, revealing the bridge to star ship, and there he sits. In full captain's uniform with an insane look in his eye, the man leans forward holding a cigarette in his left hand and says, "I'm a rock star from Mars with Adonis DNA and tiger's blood."


End file.
